According to Maslow, safety serves as the foundation for the self-actualized person. I am fortunate to have my basic physical needs met. I can take comfort in a great marriage and steady employment. Any fear or stress is self imposed. Don't get me wrong, I am certainly not complaining; I appreciate all I have. However, I don't enjoy the nasty side effect of my suburban life. Primarily contentment.
I have become content to come home from work and turn on the television. Content to not talk to my wife, instead of hanging on her every word as I used to. Content to let my faith take a back seat to self reliance and complacency. All things I was determined to never let happen.
I have decided to study Judo. I realize that is a complete left turn but stay with me. You see my original desire to study martial arts is based on the obvious benefits. Increased fitness, discipline and confidence. Yet, I know that wasn't my primary motivation. My motivation on a very primal level was to hit and be hit. Not in a violent way but in a very radical step outside my safe suburban life kind of way.
So while my life will still be safe. It will be safe in a "I am going to get punched in the face every once in a while" kind of way. Which, I suppose isn't so bad. Perhaps it will give me a burning desire to start living life again. Maybe it will light a fire in my gut and I will find some passion for living again.
disclaimer: If anyone decides to help find some passion by hitting me in the face. I promise after I stop crying and pick myself up off the floor; I will hit you back.
3 comments:
Dude- that was really good! I'm glad you've joined the world of blogging. You can pick up where I left off (because I have left off - I'm a slogger - a blogging slacker.)
I know exactly how you feel too. I want to get a motorcycle just for the sole purpose of flirting with the danger of crashing and messing up my comfortable, yuppie, suburban, sanitized life. But lately I'm thinking missions might be a better way to flirt with danger. Anyway, good luck with the Judo. Don't forget: first rule about judo club - you don't talk about judo club.
So, your disclaimer totally ruined my comment. When I see you at the end of April, you can bet that I'm gonna come off the plane swingin'. Man, I just can't wait to hit you. Like remember the time you were trying to teach me to dance...we were in the backyard...that wasn't on purpose. This is going to be on purpose.
Love you...the wise older sister
Sis..all I have to say is that I will throw another basketball at your face and make you bleed. Bring it.
Funny how we never fought as kids but now that we live on opposite sides of the country we are prepared to throw down over absolutely nothing!!
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